The Chosen ( welcome to servitude )


The Chosen ( welcome to servitude )

We spend all our time preparing ourselves to be chosen. Once your dubbed as “needy” prepare to be exploited my friends. We get fresh on Fridays posing to be “chosen” NOT because we view ourselves as rulers who do the choosing and unchoosing for that matter.

I’m about to light some sh*t up that has been a dark corner in my memory of my “former self” not out of regret, I just feel like looking at how far I have come from the social programming I was under in the era or error, whatever. At the same time I am going to mentally KILL the people who made me feel as lessor, its all good, let us begain.

I remember in highschool I got a job as a busser at T.G.I Fridays, actually truth be told I got the job because I got hooked up through a friend at the time who was white this dude I would regard as my brother. It was a nice grind I made paper moved up to a waiter and made double. I would say 95% of the money went to building a home recording studio, “we” (cringe*) owned a “SP1200” which is like the holy grail of hip hop production ( think Pete Rock think Premo ) price was like $2300.00 and STILL today it can hover around that same price. I was 4 of us in my crew all dedicated 100% and focused on the grind. Now I cringe at the thought of buying anything with a group of people because when things go sour and they will , trust me I thought just like you that my crew was bullet proof and would last forever. Bull sh*t… Anyway man, as you might of guessed my paper got low my group didnt end up getting signed ( chosen ) and a lot of tention begain to surface as a result. Now dudes in the crew are telling me I need to get a job when I quit a chill ass grind for these same cats to focus on the come up. Anyway the same dude that got me a job at Fridays quit there too around the same time, and had already found a new job at another spot so dude tried to get me a job there too.

I can still remember vaguely the day before my interview I got a fresh fade, went to Marshalls and got a new polo or some sh*t anyway in my mind it was no way I wouldnt be CHOSEN…

I get there and right from the gate the vibe was wierd as F I was knee deep in “whiteness” brothers you know what I mean, that empty ass vibe like your in a hospital and sh*t. I go off vibes F that, I did the interview and didnt even bother filling out the application I already know what it is. Later on my boy told me the interviewer said I looked, get this shit ;GHETTO. I wish that MF would have been man enough to say that sh*t to my face needless to say I was mad for a minute for not getting CHOSEN but you see I never have been that dude who wasnt proud to be black I could give a sh*t about what they are saying come see me, you know what it is.

I think around that same time I had mental programming that caused me to make myself “choice worthy”. A lot of is was up bringing in the 90’s black people were in full assimilationist mode and our parents saw to it, they encouraged it made it so we went to white schools all that. As I reflect, what a sorry state to belong to, dependant on another outside force for validation really your at the mercy of the world rather than a soverign actor in it capable of self actualization. I have seen that side and I know where it leads, straight to HELL. I dont give a dam what you call me I know where the choose me mental setup leads, so when I saw this headline on yahoo I had to reflect some on my story once upon a time and let that sh*t marinate, dont be the chosen my friends be the chooser.

-ST

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~ by BE LIKE WATER on September 5, 2011.

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