Many Older Black Woman Feel the Need to Keep Young Black Men “In They’re Place” ( attacking confidence )…

I wrote this on this forum darkonesun I was looking for strategies for the workplace related to the topic of this post.


I said …

Generally I avoid the black woman who also work whereI do  because they act as if they have a right, almost a responsibility to make you validate your existence & display how “harmless” you are to the non black people at work. 

I spoke to a cousin today who recently started a new job and some black woman where he works asked him “how did he get the job” only a black woman will ask such a question knowing how offensive it sounds , and not care ( testing bounders) as if some miracle had to happen for dude to be hired.

Today this older  black woman who thinks shes my mom asked me was I painting today – I had to paint some picnic benches at work, I answered yes, I should have told he NO in retrospect … She said I could have done a better job and I needed to take my time and do it right. Keep in mind shes in no way related to my department just using the coffee maker in our office and I happened to be there at the time.  She decided it was her business and added her 2 cents which is always negative by the way.

 Also note that my BOSS said I have done a excellent job! Also the older bw made these comments in my office in ear shot of my boss and the 2 secretary’s who were all in the office at the time, that fact was not lost on me she also commented on how she didn’t like one of the colors my boss chose , so in essence she was using me to indirectly make comments to my boss who once again was in ear shot of what was being said. 

About a month earlier I swore never to speak to her again after she commented on why I didn’t get promoted, again please note she had NOTHING to do with my department or its happenings just giving her unsolicited opinions which are once again always negative! It was outlandish what she said, I wont even share it here, since then I promised myself never to talk to her again and I made it a point to avoid her at ever turn so I wouldn’t have to say anything to her out of my character as she is a older black woman…

Fam, how should I proceed, this lady is corrosive to my peace at work is there a diplomatic way for me  to tell her to mind her own F*ing business i’m a grown man, not her son ?  

This sister DivineBrown replied to my post as follows ( this is rich so rich ) …

A lot of black people know on a subconscious level that whites don’t like it when there is cohesion. So in many ways, go out of their way to show that they aren’t united (in order to solidify their position). It happens in work places as in the dating arena by putting down the other while dating outside their race. Think of it this way, even other races feel in order to be apart of the white club, they have to shun the black race. It’s the same message going out to everyone and trickling down to blacks, themselves. In the work place, in particular, blacks know when one black messes up, the it’s a score on all. It’s a really crazy psychological thing playing out in front of whites. People are expected to be the watchdogs for the white man, especially black women. As black women were put above black men to “keep him in his place”. I am another black woman admitting this BTW. In return, black women get jobs. Black women have been raising boys so long without fathers they think they can treat grown men like boys. I don’t even think women likes these ever start to see grown men as anything other than boys.

F*ing 100% ETHER



~ by BE LIKE WATER on October 2, 2011.

5 Responses to “Many Older Black Woman Feel the Need to Keep Young Black Men “In They’re Place” ( attacking confidence )…”

  1. Bro,

    it would help enormously if you knew something of her personal and social life. Is she hooked up? Does she have kids? Does she ever reveal anything of herself to you or others at work? Does she socialise with white co-workers or is she something of a loner at work?

    Answer these and other questions and you’ll have the right means by which to deal with this meddlesome madam.


    Menelik Charles
    London UK

    • peace bro !

      one thing that I noticed is that she does socialize with white co-workers a lot in fact which adds even more weight to DivineBrowns keen Insights .

      This lady flat out told me once that she treats me like i’m her son I just want to stay out of her sight no good can come of it.


  2. I think you might find this Youtube video of interest given your current plight.

  3. 100% ETHER

    appreciated bro !

  4. My pleasure, Bro.

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