Be a LIGHT … ( a story )


Today I’m chopping it up with uncle J & I recount how the other day when I finish my quick mile run before “clock in” a few students who were watching from the bleachers started to applaud the run. He said they were probably saying look at the Mandingo  go  hahahah. I said man I don’t like attention and he said look man, you do all that exercise because you just don’t want to be “sick” again – which is true.  But I don’t claim sickness ever. I may have written about this I was diagnosed with so called leukemia when I was in around 9th grade. I never bought into it  – I always said this was some Bullsh*t – I’m a guinea pig in the game  and only the “medicine” made me feel sick – F that.  I was studied by students at U.M. medical college which in the beginning I had no idea who they were. I had grown attached to one or two of them who basically were  there to listen to my plight with so called cancer – then I guess when they got the necessary credit or community hours they were gone , I was passed on  to a new student a few times  until finally I refused to interact with them wtf I thought.

   Then there were experimental new drugs they wanted to try on you that may have been beneficial. Knowing that if it means life of death – most sound people  are apt to try anything. I wrote about it before now I am certain. An IV injection that the body rejected so fiercely in was required to put you to sleep before administering it because it would induce vomiting instantly if I were up  Even when you woke up it started – there  was a sense of helplessness because you didn’t know if you would start throwing up or not. You were afraid to eat because what’s the point if your just going to vomit it back up. Then there were the spinal taps – so no I don’t want to experience hospitals again, your right Uncle J – not a good look. I just stopped going to hospitals man – I said this is all bullsh*t and quit haven’t been back since and never will I would rather die then undergo that sh*t again. They call it remission I say F you it never was.  

So you see me and health are like a deep river . It’s not just about superficiality’s I promise you. When I see the unnecessary suffering that goes down because of  the lack of knowledge it breaks my heart. WHY I think to myself. So when I’m running its more to me building endurance  . I can remember kids from summer camp who had leukemia and they died. This one kid was real  quiet  everyone liked the kid I asked where he was as he was there since the first camp and then one summer he was missing  . He appeared in good health to us he was in his late 20’s WTF I thought he was also another black kid – one of the few there. I ride for those who never made it. It wasn’t all bad, I remember we flew to LA. and went to Disney Land and we also took a tour to Hollywood & we met the actors on the TV hit show at the time “ A Different World” that was epic. We got to see where the studio audience sat and we got leather jackets – I got a 8 ball jacket that wound up getting stolen from me that was a dope jacket…

Even so I cant bring myself to donate to the sunshine kids or any other cancer charity they are BULLSH*T frankly. Charity does not work I would much rather be a light ( I know cliché )  . I rarely if ever talk about this – I don’t think any of my closest friends know about the happening because as I said before it was nothing more than a bad dream far as I see it – nothing worth mentioning. So when I ride on hospitals – call them hellish institutions it’s rooted in fact. Now in my hood we got 3 places dealing with sickness and I find it disgusting. There’s a CVS pharmacy and 2,  count em, 2 fucking clinics. And you can’t even buy a F*ing apple in the entire shopping plaza – what’s going on folks ?   But there’s a popeyes chicken a mc donalds and subway, all death food. So I rather be a light on some spiritual-G-ism . SALUTE !

– ST

     

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~ by BE LIKE WATER on December 3, 2012.

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