A dagger – ( FOR THE MOMENT ) …


Chopping IT UP with the fly sista last night – we been cool  a while now – a BANGER – she comes through last night to build. Were talking about the college I work at and she attends – that’s the scene – lets go. She tells me no offence to me BUT the ONLY reason I was hired there is because I was non threatening to them. Now so many WTF pass my mind because she doesn’t even know my RECENT history with the people there – how in the last 6 months two attempts to get me fired were defeated by me. She goes on to say they “own me” because THEY pay me  – and then she becomes an apologist for drug dealers in so many words . I HATE defending myself against being defined its above all else humiliating . Why should I account for anothers F*ed up rationale .  What in the F can I do –  I feel like no matter what its never enough. I allow her into my cypher and I am blindsided by all these daggers WHY ?  A lot of what she spoke about was true more or less generally – but it did not apply in my case. I know its mostly plantation minded negro’s in the workplace – I know it’s a F*ed up white supremacist context – GIVEN  . I understand that they use strength in numbers to get at you and keep everyone docile but what if I was aware of all of this would that still make me a B*tch to the game.- in her eyes YES.  SO what the F should I be doing throwing grenades at MF’s for looking at me wrong – honestly I don’t SEE . Now today when I ran at 5 30 am I was fucking mad AF because what she said was like a dagger but STILL I have every right ! Some bitch  ass hispanic dude in a fed ex truck at the light crossing asks me” is everything good” as I run  pass  the intersection WTF ?! IM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THIS FAGGIT AS NIGGA and he gets offended by me WHY ? I  yell can a nigga fuckin run what the fuck. THEN I SAY – YALL HATIN ASS BITCHZ and he shuts the fuck up and listen –  when I pass the golf course another bitch ass white boy on a mower rides OFF OF THE GRASS and onto the sidewalk where I am running just as I am approaching I turn around at the MF with my arms stretched out  like WTF he puts his head down shook AF – bet he didn’t expect that – I did nothing to these MF’s. I cant even fucking jog without offending theses motherfuckers I should just crawl under a F*ing rock right ? The sista was right the minute you move with power these MF get offended and try to test you and then make like your over reacting – fuck that shit. I would rather die than be a nutless  slave . But if I’m locked up in the penitentiary for doing stupid shit how is that radical. I think its easier to get locked – than not. I’m fucking lost  – I have mostly enemies at work – how could she think that I’m a plantation minded dude? Type wild . SALUTE

–          ST

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~ by BE LIKE WATER on February 27, 2013.

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